As a marathoner, I sometimes need professional help to undo the knots in my muscles, cure my tight hamstrings, and help me recover from the injuries that afflict runners. Licensed massage therapists do a great job for me. Some of them are fellow runners. Most of them are women and they can inflict great pain as they dig their fingers into a knotted muscle. One of them said, just before she dug into a particularly tender spot, “take a deep breath”, to which I responded, “so I can scream louder?”.

You see a massage therapist because you need muscle therapy. You go to a massage parlor if you are looking for cheap sex, and can’t get it elsewhere. Al Gore doesn’t seem to know the difference, as Powerline notes:

Here’s a tip, Al: if you’re looking in the Yellow Pages, “therapeutic massages” is not the right section.

Al Gore is one creepy guy.