On Monday we went shopping for our Christmas Turkey. We wanted a little turkey but the smallest we could find was 19 pounds of  frozen bird flesh that was not going to thaw in the fridge until New Years day. The alternative technique for thawing out Big Bird is waterboarding. So that’s what we’re doing. Big Bird gets dipped in the sink until the water gets close to freezing. We bring him up for air, replenish the water, and push him under again. So far, he isn’t talking, but he is thawing.

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